; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
