Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
