So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
