Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
