Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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