is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
