i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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