Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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