remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
