I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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