i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
