how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
