She's JV to your varsity
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
