My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
we're so committed to being not committed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
