I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
