I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
