I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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