I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
