butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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