Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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