Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
