Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
