Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
