Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
