Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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