I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
