She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
