my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
North Korea, Best Korea!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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