She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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