Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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