these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
