Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
