Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is my gift to your gina
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
