...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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