Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
