covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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