I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
