Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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