I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
