I think i peed on brittanys purse
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
