In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
