Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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