allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
