she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
