is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
