Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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