your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Your mouth is God's brothel.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
