Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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