you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
