So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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