When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
